Situation: there is a little trouble brewing in the retirement home.
Mary, dear, what did you do to Mrs Chan? She looks positively murderous.
Nothing much, Violet. That old Chinese cow just can’t handle losing.
Don’t tell me you have stolen her headpins again.
I’ve never stolen those headpins, they’re just misplaced. Besides, she coats them in pufferfish toxin now. No sense of humour, that woman.
Oh my, you did something really bad, didn’t you?
She just tripped over my cane when she walked by. Not me fault at all. But I might have, accidentally mind ye, taken her hearing aid when the nurse helped her up.
Goodness gracious, why’d you do that for?
I think she’s spying on the British government again, that wrinkly old horse. I saw her fiddling with her fancy hearing bits when Mrs Collins’ boy visited today.
Mary, you should’ve let her be. The boy’s very low level MI6. No harm done.
Absolutely not, Violet. You cannot trust the Chinese, even if they’re retired. You never know what they get up too!
I never know what you’re up too either, love. Especially when you’re bored. So Mrs Chan wants to turn your skull into a teapot because she knows you stole her hearing aid?
And because I broke her hip. She’ll be in a wheelchair for the next couple of months.
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